


On Nicknames

by Kamemor



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual John Sheppard, Asexuality, Gen, Sheppard is a huge nerd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4967266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamemor/pseuds/Kamemor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk is a far less suitable nickname for Sheppard than McKay thinks it is, but he's just not getting the hint. An exasperated Sheppard finally tells him to knock it off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Nicknames

“Of course, there was no way we could establish a proper trade partnership if the princess hated our guts,” said Rodney, animatedly, describing their latest mission to an attentive Teyla. “So this was when Sheppard started up with his Captain Kirk routine...”

 “Rodney, could you stop it with the whole Captain Kirk thing?” Sheppard interrupted. He had finally had enough. Today was the day he was just going to spell things out, because McKay really was no good at catching hints.

 “What?” asked a perplexed Rodney. “How do you mean?”

 “I _mean_ can you stop calling me Kirk? It’s not that good a comparison, and it’s starting to get on my nerves.” Rodney frowned, even more confused.

 “How is it a bad comparison? Kirk was always the one who romanced the alien princess, and so are you.”

 “No, I’m not! I never ‘romance’ anyone.”

 “Yes you do! There have been loads of alien women that you’ve had a thing with.”

 “Rodney! Would just you listen to me?” John was getting rather exasperated now. He had known from the start that Rodney wouldn’t just accept the fact that he didn’t like the nickname and move on, but now the recalcitrant scientist was on the defensive and that meant the argument would just keep going.

 “I would, if I actually understood what you were trying to say!” It was at this point that Teyla decided to intercede on John’s behalf.

 “I believe what Colonel Sheppard is trying to say is that, while it is true that many women have shown interest in him, it is not true that he himself had any interest in them.”

 “Yes! Thank you, Teyla,” said John, gratefully.

 “So, you mean...” Rodney was obviously having trouble with this revelation. “You mean you’re not actually interested in women? Does that mean you’re...?”

 “No, I’m not gay, Rodney,” he said, exasperation back in his voice. “I’m asexual. You know, not actually attracted to anybody?”

 "I know what it means,” said Rodney, waving a hand dismissively. “I’d just never have guessed that _you_ were... asexual. What with the alien princesses and the you having been married and all.”

 “Well, you get pretty good at faking it when you don’t feel something that everyone says you should,” said John, only just managing to keep a bitter note out of his voice.

 “Huh,” said Rodney, astonishment writ large on his face. “Well, you learn something new every day.” He turned to Teyla. “So how come you knew already?” Teyla smiled.

 "It is not all that hard to notice, when one knows what to look for. I have known a few people in my life who showed no interest in others, and I realised the same was true of Colonel Sheppard quite quickly.” Rodney looked a little put out at the idea that he had missed something someone else thought to be obvious. John knew Teyla well enough to know that her phrasing had been intended to get on McKay’s nerves, which made him smile slightly too.

 "Does Ronon know?” Rodney asked.

 “He figured it out too,” said John. Actually, Ronon had figured him out even before Teyla had. To be honest, John hadn’t been that surprised. Ronon was a straightforward kind of guy, so when he didn’t get the response he expected to a comment about a woman who was showing interest in Sheppard, he came right out and asked whether he liked women or not. John had surprised himself by giving an honest answer rather than trying to deflect the question- Ronon’s bluntness was catching, it seemed- and the subject had never come up again. A few weeks later, when Sheppard had thought back on the exchange, he had been touched by how quickly and without question Ronon had accepted his answer. That wasn’t something that happened very often.

“So I’m the only one who didn’t?” asked Rodney, put out.

“Well, it proves that you don’t know everything,” John teased. Rodney frowned his usual frown, and John was relieved that their conversation had returned to their usual sort of dynamic.

“You realise that I’m going to have to come up with a new nickname for you now?”

“Yeah, well, I always fancied myself as a bit of a Han Solo.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And it fits with everyone else, too. I mean, Ronon’s obviously Chewie, and Teyla’s totally Princess Leia, and you...” Sheppard tailed off deliberately, just to see the look on McKay’s face.

“And me? Who am I, then?”

“Well, C-3PO, of course.”

“No!”

"Yes! It totally works- you’re always worrying, and getting in the way, and you’re both total know-it-alls. And Zelenka’s totally your R2-D2. Teyla, back me up on this one.”

“I agree that there are certain similarities.”

“What? No!”

"Face it, Threepio- if Teyla says it, it must be true.” As they fell into the familiar rhythm of bickering, John was surprised to realise that he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had always worried how Rodney would respond to that particular bit of personal information, especially since Rodney was the sort of guy who thought sex was the be-all and end-all of human interaction. It remained to be seen how well he’d incorporate the revelation that his best friend was asexual into his worldview, but his initial reaction was promising. After all, he thought to himself, as comings-out went, the Force had been strong with this one.

**Author's Note:**

> AroAce!Sheppard is one of those headcanons that never occurred to me until I came across it on Tumblr and realised it made all the sense in the world. This post explains it perfectly: http://last01standing.tumblr.com/post/59334989868/why-i-read-john-sheppard-as-ace (They never say the word 'aromantic', but it's obvious they consider him aro as well.)
> 
> (Also, Sheppard is implying nothing when he calls Teyla the Leia to his Han, other than the fact that he considers her one of the most badass people he knows.)


End file.
